Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My dad went home

abuelita

My dad is at home with his parents now. On Thursday he was moved from ICU, where he'd been for 6 weeks, cared for very attentively after his surgery, to Hospice care. I'm glad I was there to see him that day, and that I spent time with him every day, up to yesterday afternoon, when I saw him last. He couldn't talk anymore, except for a word here or there, but he looked at me with his same joking gaze, and made me laugh when he raised his eyebrows from time to time. I held his hand a lot (probably more than I ever had in my whole life), combed his hair, and sang and hummed to him as much as possible. He seemed happy about that.



getting married

We all spent time with him, we all talked to him and shared love with him. He left us today, at 12 PM - my mom was there to see him go, and my brother. One of the last things he said, a couple of days ago, was that God would take care of everything. He was not an old man but he'd lived a lot, and he was tired. Give abuelito and abuelita a hug for me, Dad, I'll see you all someday.


married

My dad loved:
spicy pork rinds
singing to strangers
telling a good story
any food that was bad for him
Coca Cola
Hershey's chocolate with almonds
Church's fried chicken
gardening
opera
God
action movies, the louder the better
bolo ties
hats
saving things
collecting junk
lotto tickets
his grandchildren
playing Monopoly
dominoes
Placido Domingo and Mario Lanza
his parents
fresh-popped popcorn
french fries
figs
roses


He could quote to you, word for word, books he'd read 20 years ago (I tested him on this). He had a beautiful tenor voice, and later in life, he sang a huge, sonorous baritone. When I was a child, he was very stern, always had a quick temper, and found it hard to show anyone love. As he grew older, he softened and was so kind to my young nieces and nephews that they adored him. One day, months ago, he apologized for how he'd been when I was growing up. He said, with tears in his eyes, "I was so smart! I thought I knew everything. I knew nothing."

I loved my dad.

58 comments:

Geek+Nerd said...

Flor - I'm so sorry to hear of your father's passing. He seems like he was a wonderful man. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Alli said...

I'm so sorry to hear that, Floresita. All of my best to you, your family, and your dad. He sounds like an amazing person.

LollyChops said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Your post touched me. Your dad sounds a lot like my poppy. Rest peaceful.

craft pig said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your dad's passing. I lost my dad a long time ago when I was a kid...it ain't easy.
My heart goes out to you.

smartypants said...

Floresita,
I'm glad you were able to be with your dad in his last days. My thoughts are with you and your family. Yours, Kim

MJ said...

All my love to you and your family.. I'm glad you had the chance to spent time with him and showed him how much you loved him.
May God be with you all...

megan said...

I'm all teared up... I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you can celebrate the person your dad was.

susanc said...

I am so sorry to read about your dad's passing Floresita. My thoughts go out to you and your family. Take care.

Quietgirl said...

He is right- God will take care of everything. Best wishes to you and your family. He is surely smiling down on you right now. Bless you honey.

Meghan said...

Floresita, I'm so sorry. It sounds like your father had a happy life, and that he's at peace now, but I know this must be so hard for you, and my heart goes out to you. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

Angelique said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of you and your family and wishing you strength at this difficult time. This post was a lovely tribute to your dad.

Marie said...

Holding you and your family in the light during these days.

Leslie said...

so sorry for your loss. he sounds like a wonderful man and father.

Peggy. said...

Your family is in my prayers. I lost my dad 10 yrs ago and I feel his presence everyday.
Peggy

Rosa said...

Sorry for your loss. I've been following your posts about your Dad. My thoughts and prayers will continue to go to your family during this sorrowful time.

Patty said...

I just popped in to get your mix tape card tutorial and read this. I'm really sorry for your loss. It's good you were able to spend some time with your dad before he passed away. Take care.

lindamade said...

I'm so sorry Flor, but happy that you had the chance to spend some more time with him. Let me know if you need an ear. I find grieving people are the most comforting to me (also grieving) right now.

Kristi said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts. Hugs to you, dear Floresita.

Knit - R - Done said...

Heartbreaking beauty in that post.

Donna said...

Thank you for sharing your father with us. I'm sure he was welcomed home with open arms.

Rebekah said...

I am sorry to hear about your father. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayer during this time.

Wendy said...

I am so very sorry to hear of your father's passing. Know that he is now at peace. Cherish your memories of him and hold your family close.

Mashelly said...

Much Love to you & your Family...so happy you got to spend his last days with him

Doda said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I am glad you were able to be there with him for a time.

sewitsforyou said...

I was just going to e-mail you. I am so sorry Flor. I am just glad you were able to make it out there one last time. If there is anything you need just e-mail me. I am thinking and praying for you and your family.

KristenMary said...

Floresita, I'm so sorry for your pain. This was a wonderful post about your dad. I wish you comfort as you and your family deal with the loss of your dad.

Jodi said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. What a wonderful father you had. I know you will cherish all of your memories of him. Thanks for sharing some of his life in photos with us.

Claudia said...

i'm so sad and sorry to hear this, floresita. my thoughts and prayers and with you, your family and your dad. i wish your mom all the courage and strength she needs at this time. in the end you will see that "god will take care of everything".

xoxoxo

Suse said...

I'm so sorry. I wish you and your family all the best.

Kristin said...

I'm just sending you so so many hugs. I can't imagine what is going through your mind and heart, but do know that you have a lot of love and support coming your way through blog land. (((HUGS)))

Kristin
http://reclaimingthehome.typepad.com

Hannita said...

My prayers are with you and your mom and the rest of your family. I'm so sorry.

Mamameo said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You were blessed to have such a wonderful father. I too lost my father and may you continue to feel his love, despite his physical presence being gone. Much love to you. Blessings to your family.

Dawn said...

I am so sorry. I am glad you had those special moments with him at the last.
xo

Bunny said...

Floresita, I offer you my prayers and condolences. Your father is blessed to have passed peacefully among his family. He sounds like such a wonderful man. Thank you for sharing memories of him with us.

Take care and god bless,

Karen

barncat said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. This post was a very touching tribute to your Dad.

Mrs. Trumbull said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I read your post with tears in my eyes. I still have my parents with me, and I treasure the time I have with them. Your post about him and your family was a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man. My thoughts are with you.

Mrs. Trumbull said...

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. Your post brought tears to my eyes - such a beautiful and loving tribute to your dad. My thoughts are with you and your family. Kathleen

Limon Partido said...

Flor...te envio mis pesames...he sounds amazing and knows that he was well loved...my thoughts and prayers are with your family...

eclecticalmanac said...

so sorry to hear of your loss, my sympathies.

emilyknits said...

so so sorry Floresita, i'm sure you know we're all thinking of you x

Veronica said...

My thoughts go out to your family. Your tribute was touching, and I hope that you and your family can celebrate your father's life and find peace.

Sara said...

I'm sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family during this time. Your post was very moving, he seemed like a great man and I am glad you were able to spend time with him.

Rosa said...

You're in my thoughts. This is a beautiful tribute to your father.

donkeyinawhitecoat said...

God bless him. We all need to hold our father's hands a little more while we can. I can't imagine the peace he felt having you near him in those last hours. Take care of yourself and your family...know that he's at peace :)

Emmalee said...

What a beautiful post. I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jenne said...

ah, your post made my heart ache and brought tears to my eyes, and yet I'm so glad that you and he have the hope of eternity at home with God. I am sad for you in the between time until you see him again.

beadgirl said...

I'm so sorry, Flor. My prayers are with you and your family (and your father).

I lost my father 3 years ago. It sucks.

Kat said...

I'm so sorry. He sounds like a wonderful man. Take advantage of all the hospice support for yourself and your family that you can.

Early Bird Special said...

Dear Sweet Flor,

This is such a beautiful post, and I am deeply saddened by your loss. I am crying while I write this, so I will keep it short.

I hope your heart mends soon, my friend. You and your family are in my heart and thoughts.

Truly,
Amy

Busym1 said...

I'm so very sorry for your great loss. This is my first post, and i just had to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your father. He must have been a great person, and you can tell how much you loved him. ((((hugs))) and my sympahties to you and your family...Michelle

Stitcher S said...

Flor, I am behind in blog reading and just saw this now.

I am so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away six months ago from Alzheimer's, and I know how painful it is to see our strong fathers become helpless and only be able to talk through their eyes.



I loved seeing the photos of your dad, and I so loved seeing your list of what he liked. The creative person you are is I'm sure in part due to his influence.

Coincidentally my dad too apologized a few years ago for how strict he was when we were growing up. He didn't 'soften' either until later years.

Your post really touched me. Take care of yourself.

me melodia said...

My heart goes out to you.
This is a beautiful/painful post.

I am my dad's number one fan I can't imagine what you're going through.
Your dad sounds like an amazing man.
xo

Stacy said...

hi there. I don't know you at all, but I pop in on your blog from time to time. My own father is very ill and I have spent alot of time recently holding hands, stroking his hair and singing to him as well. Your post was precious. My heart goes out to you during your time of great loss. Bless you.

potty mouth mama said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. Sounds like he was a great man, I love your list of his loves. I'm thinking of you. xxx

AlabamaGal said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad. Your tribute to him in words brought tears to my eyes. It was beautiful and touching. This is my first time visiting your blog. I will be visiting again!

Michelle

Margarita said...

this was very sad to read, i can only imagine how difficult it is to lose a parent. sorry about his passing. your father sounds a lot like mine. he's softened a lot since i was a child too. stay strong :)

Gumbo Lily said...

My love & prayers surround you. God bless the memory of your dad.

Jody

Danielle said...

I was moved by this post about your Dad. My Dad died in 2000 and I wrote this poem for his funeral. Although an Englishman, he was very passionate about native American culture so I incorporated that in the feel of the poem. I wanted to share it with you:

Weep not for the loss of a warrior.
Your pain will fade with the passing of time
and you shall see him again.
He left gifts for you.
His strength, his courage
and his love.
You must rejoice in having known him and celebrate his life.
But do not weep.
He is free now.

Be strong. You sound like you already are! I still love your creativity.