My sweet Dot

My sweet cat Dot died on Saturday. It wasn't a surprise - if you follow me on Instagram, you'll know that Dot was diagnosed with congestive heart failure almost 1 year ago. The real surprise and blessing, for us, was that she lived so long, longer than the best case scenario the vet had given us - a mere 10 months. I was halfway through chemotherapy when she was diagnosed, and terrified that she would die. She was my buddy, my constant companion, purring at my side, always, when I felt my worst, a silent, furry, wonderful friend who asked for nothing more than a bowl of food, water, and to be cozy and near me.

The internet is a funny thing - here on this blog, I wrote when Dot walked into my life, January 2014, 5 years ago. I talked about getting her fixed, and those special first moments when I got to know her and saw how unique and sweet her personality was, but I left the story there and never continued it. It's heart wrenching to read how I tried to shoo her away, because there were too many stray cats.

I didn't know then she would become my Dot, the little cat that saw me through every up and down I encountered in the past 5 years. Life and love are funny like that. It's so hard to appreciate the life that you're living. On a certain level, you may know that you are blessed, but it's hard to quantify these blessings until they are no longer with you.

So, I am actually glad that Dot was diagnosed with heart failure last year - not glad that she had heart failure, or had to die, but glad that we finally had a reason for her vomiting and hiding and shyness - maybe the whole time I had her, she had been ill and in pain. Having a diagnosis made life harder, but we at least knew her time with us wasn't permanent, and we were able to fully appreciate the time she had left with us, to really savor it and love her, no holds barred.

Dot's story

So, here is the rest of Dot's story!

In January 2014, a very sad, wet little cat appeared in our garage. She looked older and in poorer health than the other strays that had taken up residence in our garage that cold winter. I got her fixed, along with 7 other stray cats, and continued feeding and caring for them as best I could.



In November 2014, I found Dot with an abscess the size of a tennis ball on her little face. I didn't take a photo, because just looking at it made me ill! I rushed her to the ER, where her little face was shaved, the abscess drained, and the vet told me she'd need a clean place indoors to recover. I had no desire to have an indoor cat - my room was tiny and cramped, but I made a little space for her.



Throughout the winter, I tried to find a home for her, but no home was in need of a sweet cat. So Dot became my cat. I had never shared a room with an animal before - I tried to be stern at first, but I quickly lost the battle for my bed.

I don't know when exactly, but at some point I realized she was my closest friend.



Always there next to me, a quiet, loving, patient presence. She was there for me when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, seeing me cry when no one else did. I actually sensed something was wrong with me, when Dot instinctively began sleeping very close to me, pressed against the very spot where my cancer was.

We got through it together, then I met the man who would be my husband. Our first dates were often hangouts at home - we started dating when I was on radiation, and I was always so tired. Dot kept us laughing with her silliness - we bought her special scratch pads and catnip, and in December, a Christmas hat.

In 2017, Matt and I got married and moved into our first apartment together. Matt was not a cat person, and I worried about our life together with Dot. I remember being scared that she would scratch his records or equipment, or our new bed. But none of that happened - Dot was an epically good cat. She left our belongings alone, never scratched furniture or jumped on our couch, but the bed was undeniably her domain.



In 2018, I was diagnosed with breast cancer again, and again I had a feeling it was coming when Dot began sleeping closer and closer to me. Matt and Dot stood by me through all of my surgeries and chemotherapy.

Dot had a special, magical way of being near to me when no one else could, and seeing grief and worry I'd show no one else.



I never went to the bathroom alone thanks to Dot - which I found especially comforting when I was on chemo. Never, for one minute, was I away from her purring presence, when I felt my worst or most alone.

In October 2018, as I mentioned, Dot was diagnosed with heart failure. The vet cautioned me that Dot could die at any time, including there, in the vet's office. I was discharged with 3 medications I had to give her twice daily. It was an epic struggle getting Dot to take her meds. Every time I thought I'd found the magic method, she'd get finicky, and start rejecting it. And there I was, at my lowest point in energy, struggling, and pulling myself out of bed to give her medicine.

Dot loved when I played the harmonica (although I wasn't any good at it). It was the only time she'd climb in my lap, and she'd sing along. :)



Dot's health went up and down, and many days I was sure would be her last. This summer she got very thin, and I was constantly worried about her. Finally I tried Pill pockets, which she loved, and for a month or two she was at her best, taking her meds every day, looking the best I'd seen her yet.



We had just taken her to the vet, who was happy and surprised to see her. But that last week she began rejecting her meds in any form I tried to give them, and eating less and less. Last Saturday, she died suddenly in my arms, I tried to give her meds but it was too late, so Matt and I spent her last few minutes petting her and trying to console her.



When I look back, I see a wonderful trail of blessings, a beautiful path she walked down, with me. I'm not the person I was when she met me - I grew, and so did she, and so did Matt. I feel sad, but also blessed beyond measure. How lucky I was, to love and be loved by her. The greatest lesson I learned from Dot is that nothing in life is permanent - neither pain nor joy, so embrace fully every joy that is before you.

We'll love and miss you always, my Dot.

Feline Friday: Sofia and Dot visit the vet

Sofia and Dot are no longer looking for love in all the wrong places. :) Sofia (above) is a green-eyed beauty - everyone who sees her remarks on how gorgeous she is. The first time I saw Sofia I was outside, knitting in the grass - she marched right up to me and climbed into my lap, purring and meowing hello. She was the one I wanted to adopt first - she's very loving with humans and my mom loves her, too. But sometimes she scratches and bites really hard, seemingly without warning.

Over time I've figured out why Sofia lashes out- she hates other animals. If you pet any of the other cats and try to pet Sofia, she will scratch the crap out of you. Just seeing another cat puts her in hellfire mode - I've seen her practically jump on other cats, scratching and hissing and growling. Seriously - here's what she does with a toy mouse. The weirdest thing is - she's from the same litter as the rest of the kitties, but she hates all of them.



Dot is a quiet sweetheart. She gives you your space, so you must approach her first, but she purrs and adores any attention she receives. When I first saw her in January, I groaned - another cat! But her poor nose was scraped up, scabbed over and scratched and her quiet demeanor won me over. Her nose has healed, but the fur hasn't grown back, making her look like she has a dot, hence her name. (I was watching a lot of Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, and that had something to do with her name, as well.) :) She's not a fan of the other cats, either, but she's not fierce like Sofia. She gives the cats a warning swipe or hiss if they get too close, but she doesn't fight. She likes to sleep in her own quiet spot in the garage, or near Brother. I think she might be the mother of all the kittens, and maybe she is Brother's sister (and/or or former mate - ew). Cat family trees have a bit of an ick factor. :)

I had them both in the humane traps the night before surgery- in separate rooms because Sofia was a spitfire in the cage. Dot started meowing in the middle of the night, and was only quiet when I pet her, so I put her cage by my bed and she immediately quieted down.

The next morning, I took them to SNAP - I have to say I am really impressed with them overall. Check-in takes a long time, which is my only beef with them, but you can tell they care about every animal they receive, including feral cats. The ear-tipping was done neatly, with almost no scabbing. The 2 cats I took to Boerne last month have an uneven ear-tip, and one of them is not quite healed. I had both cages covered, which usually keeps them calm - but Sofia's cage bounced up and down as she bucked and hissed and growled. People wondered if I had a wild animal in there. So strange that the tamest of the cats was the wildest in the cage.

After surgery they were groggy and sleepy - Sofia was very woozy and Dot was shaky - a side-effect of the anesthesia. That night Sofia ate like a starving animal, and Dot had a good appetite, too. I put their cages in the same room, but blocked their view of each other. Sofia meowed a lot that night, and growled every time she heard Dot move. The second day, they ate and drank water like normal, and I was able to lure Dot into a kennel with a litterbox, then back into her cage. Sofia didn't touch the litterbox, and spent the whole time in the kennel growling and hissing.

The third day, they ate and drank and Dot waited patiently to use the litterbox. Sofia made a mess in her cage, poor thing. That night I moved Sofia into the kennel to sleep - she finally grasped the concept of the litterbox and calmed down. I moved Dot's cage into my room again and she was quiet, too - only waking a few times to meow inquisitively. When I released them, Dot continued to rest in the garage in her favorite spots, while Sofia disappeared instantly, but she's returned on schedule for breakfast and dinner every day.

I am so happy to be done with this cat fixing adventure! Whether I am able to find these cats homes or not, I'll continue to feed them and give them shelter, and now I know they won't be contributing new lives to our overpopulated neighborhood.

My next project will be tending to Orange Kitty - he only turns up a few times a week...


Curiously, when Dot and Sofia were in the house he yowled and cried every morning and evening, as if he was looking for them. Boyfriend? Pal? Who knows... :)

Feline Friday: Pickles' 10 minutes of fame

One morning I photographed the cats after feeding them - they of course move quickly, so it's rare to get a perfect shot. When I saw how lovely this one was, I was taken aback. The new camera lens captured every stray hair, the reflection on his eyes, even a little schmutz under the eye on the right. It's official, this camera is awesome.

This was also my first photo on Explore in about a billion years. And it's rare that my non-crafting photos make it to Explore. So, Pickles is momentarily famous. :)

I found a local grant that will fix feral cats for free - I hope! I can't touch or handle 3 of the cats at all - I was hoping to have tamed them in the past 3 months, but only sweet Freckles has gotten used to petting:



Their ears will be nipped, just like Brother cat's was. I'm on the fence about this, but I know it's a good thing - anyone they encounter in their wanderings will know they are fixed, and have had a rabies shot.



Here's a shot of Pumpkin caught unawares, eating. I am able to pet her once or twice, but she has an annoying habit of clawing my hand when she wants food or is startled. I'm starting to accept that even with a lot of patience and coaxing, the younger cats may never be tamed.



A better shot of Dot, who looks healthier, but she's cranky with the other cats. She's very nice to humans, though, so she could be an adoptable cat.



Another shot of Ice Cream, looking at me like she always does - like she's not having any of it. :)

Feline Friday

Here's a new feature in honor of my backyard being literally overrun by stray cats. I started off feeding 1 - just 1 - and where's the harm in that? Then, she brought this guy over, the sweetest cat in the world.

He brought 4 kittens with him. That's right, he did. This is the first instance I've ever seen of a male cat leading around kittens like a mother. He didn't seem old enough to be their father, so I call him Brother cat. He is infinitely patient with them, and his eyes - those eyes! I like cats and all, but their eyes are usually a bit predatory and let's face it, a bit mean. He has the sweetest cat eyes I've ever seen.



This is Freckles. She is a total sweetheart, even if she is a bit needy. She loves other cats, and will purr and snuggle with them all (even if they don't feel like snuggling). She's got orange and brown because she's part calico, and pretty amber eyes. And her meow is adorable.



This is Ice Cream. She is fiercely private. It's taken me 2 months to get her to be comfortable around me, and she won't let me get closer than a foot away. She doesn't quite understand meowing - when I appear with food she approaches happily, tail raised, and hisses. Ok, so she's got issues. And beautiful blue eyes. I wonder if she has trouble seeing, and that's why...



This is Pickles. He doesn't trust me, either, and is most skittish of the bunch. He will literally scale a wall if I move too fast near him. He is pretty good-looking however, with his greenish eyes and dark fur.



This is Pumpkin. Yes I know, Pumpkin has eye junk but she won't let me close enough to get it off her face. She almost likes me - I can pet her a few times, but she's easily startled and scratches.



I suspect this lady is the mother of all of them - she looks a bit older and not in the best health. I'm hoping some steady meals and a trip to the vet to get fixed will help. I'm thinking of calling her Dot, for the scar on her nose.

This is all very well for pictures but... it's too many cats! I'm working on finding a home for Freckles, as she's the tamest. And I look forward to a few long weeks of visits to get them all fixed!