My sweet Dot

My sweet cat Dot died on Saturday. It wasn't a surprise - if you follow me on Instagram, you'll know that Dot was diagnosed with congestive heart failure almost 1 year ago. The real surprise and blessing, for us, was that she lived so long, longer than the best case scenario the vet had given us - a mere 10 months. I was halfway through chemotherapy when she was diagnosed, and terrified that she would die. She was my buddy, my constant companion, purring at my side, always, when I felt my worst, a silent, furry, wonderful friend who asked for nothing more than a bowl of food, water, and to be cozy and near me.

The internet is a funny thing - here on this blog, I wrote when Dot walked into my life, January 2014, 5 years ago. I talked about getting her fixed, and those special first moments when I got to know her and saw how unique and sweet her personality was, but I left the story there and never continued it. It's heart wrenching to read how I tried to shoo her away, because there were too many stray cats.

I didn't know then she would become my Dot, the little cat that saw me through every up and down I encountered in the past 5 years. Life and love are funny like that. It's so hard to appreciate the life that you're living. On a certain level, you may know that you are blessed, but it's hard to quantify these blessings until they are no longer with you.

So, I am actually glad that Dot was diagnosed with heart failure last year - not glad that she had heart failure, or had to die, but glad that we finally had a reason for her vomiting and hiding and shyness - maybe the whole time I had her, she had been ill and in pain. Having a diagnosis made life harder, but we at least knew her time with us wasn't permanent, and we were able to fully appreciate the time she had left with us, to really savor it and love her, no holds barred.

Dot's story

So, here is the rest of Dot's story!

In January 2014, a very sad, wet little cat appeared in our garage. She looked older and in poorer health than the other strays that had taken up residence in our garage that cold winter. I got her fixed, along with 7 other stray cats, and continued feeding and caring for them as best I could.



In November 2014, I found Dot with an abscess the size of a tennis ball on her little face. I didn't take a photo, because just looking at it made me ill! I rushed her to the ER, where her little face was shaved, the abscess drained, and the vet told me she'd need a clean place indoors to recover. I had no desire to have an indoor cat - my room was tiny and cramped, but I made a little space for her.



Throughout the winter, I tried to find a home for her, but no home was in need of a sweet cat. So Dot became my cat. I had never shared a room with an animal before - I tried to be stern at first, but I quickly lost the battle for my bed.

I don't know when exactly, but at some point I realized she was my closest friend.



Always there next to me, a quiet, loving, patient presence. She was there for me when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, seeing me cry when no one else did. I actually sensed something was wrong with me, when Dot instinctively began sleeping very close to me, pressed against the very spot where my cancer was.

We got through it together, then I met the man who would be my husband. Our first dates were often hangouts at home - we started dating when I was on radiation, and I was always so tired. Dot kept us laughing with her silliness - we bought her special scratch pads and catnip, and in December, a Christmas hat.

In 2017, Matt and I got married and moved into our first apartment together. Matt was not a cat person, and I worried about our life together with Dot. I remember being scared that she would scratch his records or equipment, or our new bed. But none of that happened - Dot was an epically good cat. She left our belongings alone, never scratched furniture or jumped on our couch, but the bed was undeniably her domain.



In 2018, I was diagnosed with breast cancer again, and again I had a feeling it was coming when Dot began sleeping closer and closer to me. Matt and Dot stood by me through all of my surgeries and chemotherapy.

Dot had a special, magical way of being near to me when no one else could, and seeing grief and worry I'd show no one else.



I never went to the bathroom alone thanks to Dot - which I found especially comforting when I was on chemo. Never, for one minute, was I away from her purring presence, when I felt my worst or most alone.

In October 2018, as I mentioned, Dot was diagnosed with heart failure. The vet cautioned me that Dot could die at any time, including there, in the vet's office. I was discharged with 3 medications I had to give her twice daily. It was an epic struggle getting Dot to take her meds. Every time I thought I'd found the magic method, she'd get finicky, and start rejecting it. And there I was, at my lowest point in energy, struggling, and pulling myself out of bed to give her medicine.

Dot loved when I played the harmonica (although I wasn't any good at it). It was the only time she'd climb in my lap, and she'd sing along. :)



Dot's health went up and down, and many days I was sure would be her last. This summer she got very thin, and I was constantly worried about her. Finally I tried Pill pockets, which she loved, and for a month or two she was at her best, taking her meds every day, looking the best I'd seen her yet.



We had just taken her to the vet, who was happy and surprised to see her. But that last week she began rejecting her meds in any form I tried to give them, and eating less and less. Last Saturday, she died suddenly in my arms, I tried to give her meds but it was too late, so Matt and I spent her last few minutes petting her and trying to console her.



When I look back, I see a wonderful trail of blessings, a beautiful path she walked down, with me. I'm not the person I was when she met me - I grew, and so did she, and so did Matt. I feel sad, but also blessed beyond measure. How lucky I was, to love and be loved by her. The greatest lesson I learned from Dot is that nothing in life is permanent - neither pain nor joy, so embrace fully every joy that is before you.

We'll love and miss you always, my Dot.

Feline Friday: Pics and template tweaks

I really loved this little guy last week - so cute and so photogenic. :)




I've been playing with the photo template I use for the shelter cat photos:



Previously, I would just put the shelter logo and ID number anywhere I could fit them.

I decided to use one standard size and orientation because their system stretches out any other orientation. And I added a sidebar to keep all the information in a consistent spot.



Someone adopted this charmingly cross-eyed kitty and named him Dobby. Perfect, right? :)

Feline Friday: Ice Cream update

So, it's been 7 months since I started feeding the cats in my back yard. They have all come such a long way in terms of tameness (at least with me), and one by one they have all let me pet them. Ice Cream, above, was the only holdout. Up until a few weeks ago, she would still hiss if I appeared too quickly, and would never, ever let me pet her. But I was dogged and determined. Every time I fed her, I tried to pet her, and she'd bolt. I'd try to pet her, and she'd bolt. But every time, I tried, and she seemed to know I would never let up.

Finally, last week when I went out to feed the cats, she walked straight towards me and greeted me with a meow, something she'd never done before. When I reached down to pet her, she not only stayed put, she purred. Just like that! She also loves to be brushed, and although it took her forever for her to come around, she is among the most trusting of the cats with me now. She lets me scratch her tummy, and just purrs and purrs.

Her colors have also darkened - she went from being snow white, with little gray tips on her ears, to having chocolatey blotches on her back, and darker points, which confirms my suspicion that she is part Siamese. Also, her meow sounds Siamese, too, and she only uses it to say hi.

Feline Friday: To Sir, With Love

I've been feeding this old fellow for about 2 and a half weeks now, but he did make a few appearances here and there before that. The entire time I've known him, he's been sick and very skinny, and I worried over his runny nose and labored breathing. I'd been hoping his stubborn cold would clear up so I could get him fixed, so I made sure to feed him well and make sure he was comfortable.

Saturday, however, when getting up to greet me, he fell over, then pulled himself up, then stumbled and fell over, again. I felt terrible for not being able to take him in sooner - I bought myself a cat carrier, lured him in with a bit of food, and trucked us both to the Animal Emergency room. He was so patient and calm in the carrier and with the vets - a perfect gentleman.



$300 of savings later, I learned he was a very old cat indeed (I didn't get an estimate of exactly how old) with bad teeth and a nasty respiratory infection, but aside from that he was very healthy for his age. He was also negative FeLV and negative FIV, which is good news for fighting his infection. He was given an antibiotics shot and an injection of fluids, and he earned some much-needed downtime in the garage with a comfy bed, food, and water that evening and the next.



Once he's better, my first project will be getting him fixed, then hopefully seeing to his teeth - you can tell he has tooth issues by the way he holds his jaw, up above. I am intimidated by the cost.

Have any of you had cat dental work done? How much was it? This will help me plan / save accordingly...



Here he is in his favorite spot - my mom's garden. He's careful with the plants and never lays on them or poops on them - he just seems to love laying on the wood chips. He's such a sweet, polite fellow, I often call him "Sir."

Feline Friday: Trip back in time

The cats in my backyard have come such a long way since I started feeding them in October, so I thought I'd take you back in time...

Here's Ice Cream now:


And here was Ice Cream on her first visit:



The kittens wouldn't go anywhere without the company of Brother:



They'd walk in a cute little line, with Freckles in the lead:



Then Pickles:



Then the whole gang:



It's hard to believe it's been 4 months! I can pet almost all of them now. Ice Cream is the only holdout - she loves sitting near me with her eyes closed, but if I attempt to pet her she dashes.



Everyone is healthy and recovering well from their surgeries. Fur is growing back on their tummies and they're energetic and the most playful I've ever seen them. I got them a couple of toy balls and they went nuts with them. :)

But I'm a little discouraged about them being tame with other humans - every time I bring someone outside to see them they scatter, and won't come back until everyone is gone. Then they go back to being the loving, playful, friendly kitties only I can see. I feel like that cartoon with the singing frog. :(

In more encouraging news, I found the kind neighborhood person who fixed Brother! I met her by chance when I was picking up cat spay vouchers. She's been feeding him at a church parking lot for months, and was worried that she hadn't seen him lately - I was happy to tell her he was doing well and hanging out in my back yard.



Orange kitty made another visit a few days ago and looked marvelous. Again, he was freshly washed, smelled nice, and if you can believe it, the scar on his head is almost completely gone. I was in a hurry out the door or I would have snapped a pic - will do next time!

Feline Friday: Sofia and Dot visit the vet

Sofia and Dot are no longer looking for love in all the wrong places. :) Sofia (above) is a green-eyed beauty - everyone who sees her remarks on how gorgeous she is. The first time I saw Sofia I was outside, knitting in the grass - she marched right up to me and climbed into my lap, purring and meowing hello. She was the one I wanted to adopt first - she's very loving with humans and my mom loves her, too. But sometimes she scratches and bites really hard, seemingly without warning.

Over time I've figured out why Sofia lashes out- she hates other animals. If you pet any of the other cats and try to pet Sofia, she will scratch the crap out of you. Just seeing another cat puts her in hellfire mode - I've seen her practically jump on other cats, scratching and hissing and growling. Seriously - here's what she does with a toy mouse. The weirdest thing is - she's from the same litter as the rest of the kitties, but she hates all of them.



Dot is a quiet sweetheart. She gives you your space, so you must approach her first, but she purrs and adores any attention she receives. When I first saw her in January, I groaned - another cat! But her poor nose was scraped up, scabbed over and scratched and her quiet demeanor won me over. Her nose has healed, but the fur hasn't grown back, making her look like she has a dot, hence her name. (I was watching a lot of Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, and that had something to do with her name, as well.) :) She's not a fan of the other cats, either, but she's not fierce like Sofia. She gives the cats a warning swipe or hiss if they get too close, but she doesn't fight. She likes to sleep in her own quiet spot in the garage, or near Brother. I think she might be the mother of all the kittens, and maybe she is Brother's sister (and/or or former mate - ew). Cat family trees have a bit of an ick factor. :)

I had them both in the humane traps the night before surgery- in separate rooms because Sofia was a spitfire in the cage. Dot started meowing in the middle of the night, and was only quiet when I pet her, so I put her cage by my bed and she immediately quieted down.

The next morning, I took them to SNAP - I have to say I am really impressed with them overall. Check-in takes a long time, which is my only beef with them, but you can tell they care about every animal they receive, including feral cats. The ear-tipping was done neatly, with almost no scabbing. The 2 cats I took to Boerne last month have an uneven ear-tip, and one of them is not quite healed. I had both cages covered, which usually keeps them calm - but Sofia's cage bounced up and down as she bucked and hissed and growled. People wondered if I had a wild animal in there. So strange that the tamest of the cats was the wildest in the cage.

After surgery they were groggy and sleepy - Sofia was very woozy and Dot was shaky - a side-effect of the anesthesia. That night Sofia ate like a starving animal, and Dot had a good appetite, too. I put their cages in the same room, but blocked their view of each other. Sofia meowed a lot that night, and growled every time she heard Dot move. The second day, they ate and drank water like normal, and I was able to lure Dot into a kennel with a litterbox, then back into her cage. Sofia didn't touch the litterbox, and spent the whole time in the kennel growling and hissing.

The third day, they ate and drank and Dot waited patiently to use the litterbox. Sofia made a mess in her cage, poor thing. That night I moved Sofia into the kennel to sleep - she finally grasped the concept of the litterbox and calmed down. I moved Dot's cage into my room again and she was quiet, too - only waking a few times to meow inquisitively. When I released them, Dot continued to rest in the garage in her favorite spots, while Sofia disappeared instantly, but she's returned on schedule for breakfast and dinner every day.

I am so happy to be done with this cat fixing adventure! Whether I am able to find these cats homes or not, I'll continue to feed them and give them shelter, and now I know they won't be contributing new lives to our overpopulated neighborhood.

My next project will be tending to Orange Kitty - he only turns up a few times a week...


Curiously, when Dot and Sofia were in the house he yowled and cried every morning and evening, as if he was looking for them. Boyfriend? Pal? Who knows... :)

Feline Friday: Pickles and Ice Cream get fixed

Pickles and Ice Cream had their day at the vet. I took them together because they are friends - whenever anything scares timid Ice Cream, Pickles runs up alongside her to make sure everything is ok. Pickles actually made a narrow escape the first time I shut the trap, and I thought I'd never get him in the cage again. Well, I had to wait a whole 5 minutes, and the little porker crammed himself in the trap again, shoving another cat out so he could eat. :) So for those of you about to try out TNR, don't worry - cats are VERY motivated by food. Pickles also had the cutest meow while in the cage, a kind of "ow-ow, mrow-ow?"

I went to SNAP this time, a local organization that does low-cost spay and neuter. They were very busy - we had to wait an hour in the morning at drop-off, and another hour in the evening at pick-up. The vet techs were all very nice, patient, and ready to answer questions. The desk is well-organized but the waiting room feels chaotic with all the barking dogs. But it wasn't a terrible experience- I met other cat people and we swapped stories. I learned I'm not so bad off - other people said they had 20-30 abandoned cats in their lawns, and one lady said people leave nursing kittens in her mailbox. Unbelievable. But they had all taken it upon themselves to fix, feed, and try to find homes for all the cats that wandered into their lawn. I thought that was wonderful.

Since Pickles is male, the vet techs told me to keep him in at least one night. Ice Cream is female, so they asked that she stay in at least 3 nights. I gave them both food and water but neither of them ate or drank the first night.


A happy, calm Pickles, post-snip

Pickles started meowing up a storm early the next morning. I fed him and gave him water and he peed everywhere (seriously, there was a puddle under the pee pad). I tried moving the cage to the garage, but he really started thrashing and I was afraid he'd hurt himself, so I let him out. He was immediately calm, scarfed down everyone else's food, drank a ton of water, and took a walk with Brother and Freckles. I was worried, but he came back for dinner, and was the sweetest he has ever been. He let me pet him for the first time, and was purring like crazy. He is a completely different cat - so loving and sweet.


Little Ice Cream, post-snip

Ice Cream stayed in her cage - very quiet -eating her food and drinking water, but she never moved while I was in the room, which worried me. On the third morning I moved her into a small kennel with a litterbox, because she'd been holding it all this time, poor thing. When I put food and water in the kennel she gave me warning meows and hisses, but she never scratched me or tried to run out. I turned her kennel to face a window and she seemed entertained by the activity outside. That night I sat next to her on the couch and watched Doctor Who, while she watched me watch Doctor Who. After an hour of my quiet presence, she relaxed, got up and moved around the kennel, ate and drank water, groomed herself, and took a nap.



In addition to being really quiet and calm inside, Ice Cream was also resourceful with her litter box that night. When she decided she didn't have enough litter to work with, she carefully shredded the plastic sheet outside the kennel into thin strips, and laid it on top of the litter. It was pretty amazing! :) When I released her she actually didn't want to leave the kennel. So I left a cat bed in there with the door open should she want to retreat there. I think she would make an excellent, very mellow, if distant, indoor cat.

This experience also cemented the fact for me that the humane traps are not traumatic for the cats - but I did take the time to leave food for them in the cages for a week or 2 before. Even right after being released, the same cats would walk right into the cages to eat. I think they must find the close quarters comforting, and it gives them a feeling of security to eat in there.

Other good news! The orange tomcat returned - right after I decided to take him to the vet, he disappeared for a few days and I feared the worst. But when he reappeared he was clean, his matted fur had been brushed and washed, the scab on his head had been attended to and was healing. There is a good Samaritan in the neighborhood who did all this. I'll do my part by feeding him whenever he appears, keeping an eye on his scar, and hopefully getting him fixed. I hope I can find this other caretaker so we can be partners in his care.

Feline Friday: more cat yarns

On my to-do list today is getting this guy, and Ice Cream in the humane traps tonight so I can get them fixed tomorrow morning. I've left the traps out for the past week and a half, not set, and all the cats are used to popping in and out of them for extra snacks. If, for some reason I can't catch Pickles and Ice Cream tonight, I'll do the other 2 females, Sofia and Dot.

Here's a glamor shot of Brother, who always looks nice:


When the temperatures dropped into the 20's this week, I had a temporary full garage. In addition to the 6 cats that normally sleep there, I found 3 new interlopers!

This guy, who looks shady:


He must be related to Brother - from a distance they look alike, but their eyes are like night and day in terms of expression.

And, most heartbreakingly, this guy:


He's an unfixed tom, and he sprayed the garage so thoroughly that it reeks now, ugh. He has a scabby head wound, and a limp. At this point, I just feel overwhelmed. I'm already struggling to get the rest of the stray cats fixed, and more cats keep appearing like tribbles.

If he wasn't so aggressive with the other cats I would have no hesitation about caring for him. But I've decided to take him to a vet on my next day off and just pay from my savings. The most heartbreaking thing about this cat is the expression on his face - like he is used to humans chasing him away and his tattered face just seems to be saying "please."

Feline Friday: Cat fixing update

So I'm happy to say I fixed the first 2 cats last weekend! I decided on Pumpkin (above) and Freckles (below) as they are the tamest of the cats, which is not saying much. Pumpkin is still quite skittish around me, while Freckles is loving to me, and other cats, but scared of other humans.



Best Friends Animal Society works with local animal shelters and low-cost spay/neuter organizations in San Antonio, to fix feral cats for free. And as anyone living in San Antonio can tell you, stray cats are everywhere here. They also lend out traps for free, to bring them in. Using the traps is essential, because even if they are a little tame with you, there's no telling how they'll react to other people. The traps keep the cats and the caregivers safe.

I thought trapping the cats would be hard, given how shy they are around me. But after 3 months of feeding them outside, they associate me with food. All I had to do was put a bit of dry food inside the trap (I didn't even have to set the trap) and while they were busy chowing down, I pushed the door closed. Easy peasy!

Trapping was the easiest part, by far. Next, I had to cover the traps with a towel to calm them down, and put them inside the house overnight. This is to make sure they don't eat anything before surgery. They really didn't like being in the traps at first. I heard a lot of sad meowing and cage rattling, all night long, and for an animal lover, it can be tough to hear.

Bright and early the next morning, I got them to the Boerne Animal Defense League. The staff there were so nice, and had many, many animals to process, but were absolutely patient and helpful. I picked them up at 4 PM. The cats were groggy and not too happy in general. The staff asked me to keep them in the traps for 3 nights.

3 nights! The first night, they were fine - they meowed a little, but quieted down. I gave them food and water but only Freckles wanted to eat. The next morning, again, only Freckles ate. Pumpkin just meowed and clawed at the cage. The second night, they both ate and were alert and were fairly calm.

The next morning, I saw a tiny bit of blood near the cage and realized Pumpkin had injured her claw trying to pry at the cage bars. She was frantic, even after eating. So I let the two of them recover in our garage, putting out a litterbox and a warm place for them to sleep. That third night they were so happy and calm together.

The next day I let them out to be with the other cats, and their reaction was completely different from what I would expect. They were not afraid of me, if anything, they were more affectionate, and they were less inclined to roam around. They've spent the past few days sleeping and running around happily. Success! Only 4 more to go! :)

Feline Friday: Pickles' 10 minutes of fame

One morning I photographed the cats after feeding them - they of course move quickly, so it's rare to get a perfect shot. When I saw how lovely this one was, I was taken aback. The new camera lens captured every stray hair, the reflection on his eyes, even a little schmutz under the eye on the right. It's official, this camera is awesome.

This was also my first photo on Explore in about a billion years. And it's rare that my non-crafting photos make it to Explore. So, Pickles is momentarily famous. :)

I found a local grant that will fix feral cats for free - I hope! I can't touch or handle 3 of the cats at all - I was hoping to have tamed them in the past 3 months, but only sweet Freckles has gotten used to petting:



Their ears will be nipped, just like Brother cat's was. I'm on the fence about this, but I know it's a good thing - anyone they encounter in their wanderings will know they are fixed, and have had a rabies shot.



Here's a shot of Pumpkin caught unawares, eating. I am able to pet her once or twice, but she has an annoying habit of clawing my hand when she wants food or is startled. I'm starting to accept that even with a lot of patience and coaxing, the younger cats may never be tamed.



A better shot of Dot, who looks healthier, but she's cranky with the other cats. She's very nice to humans, though, so she could be an adoptable cat.



Another shot of Ice Cream, looking at me like she always does - like she's not having any of it. :)

Feline Friday

Here's a new feature in honor of my backyard being literally overrun by stray cats. I started off feeding 1 - just 1 - and where's the harm in that? Then, she brought this guy over, the sweetest cat in the world.

He brought 4 kittens with him. That's right, he did. This is the first instance I've ever seen of a male cat leading around kittens like a mother. He didn't seem old enough to be their father, so I call him Brother cat. He is infinitely patient with them, and his eyes - those eyes! I like cats and all, but their eyes are usually a bit predatory and let's face it, a bit mean. He has the sweetest cat eyes I've ever seen.



This is Freckles. She is a total sweetheart, even if she is a bit needy. She loves other cats, and will purr and snuggle with them all (even if they don't feel like snuggling). She's got orange and brown because she's part calico, and pretty amber eyes. And her meow is adorable.



This is Ice Cream. She is fiercely private. It's taken me 2 months to get her to be comfortable around me, and she won't let me get closer than a foot away. She doesn't quite understand meowing - when I appear with food she approaches happily, tail raised, and hisses. Ok, so she's got issues. And beautiful blue eyes. I wonder if she has trouble seeing, and that's why...



This is Pickles. He doesn't trust me, either, and is most skittish of the bunch. He will literally scale a wall if I move too fast near him. He is pretty good-looking however, with his greenish eyes and dark fur.



This is Pumpkin. Yes I know, Pumpkin has eye junk but she won't let me close enough to get it off her face. She almost likes me - I can pet her a few times, but she's easily startled and scratches.



I suspect this lady is the mother of all of them - she looks a bit older and not in the best health. I'm hoping some steady meals and a trip to the vet to get fixed will help. I'm thinking of calling her Dot, for the scar on her nose.

This is all very well for pictures but... it's too many cats! I'm working on finding a home for Freckles, as she's the tamest. And I look forward to a few long weeks of visits to get them all fixed!